Admiration, the most sought after income in the universe

"I admire you."


Who doesn't want to hear that?  Someone expressing that your way of being inspires and strikes them with a sense of awe and a desire to be...you.


Have you ever experienced someone's admiration when you were being inauthentic?


Notice how you felt anxious or uneasy, or maybe you felt relieved, if you're as inauthentic as that would suggest.  


It's all because admiration is something we all want from life.  We look at magazines, print and television ads.  We read biographies.  We teach children about the fantastic people in history that have changed the world and stood for something and created something truly beautiful in their time here. 


Everyone wants to be admired for something.  Some people want what the world defines as BIG dreams and BIG ideas.  These ideas are only BIG in scale.  That doesn't make them more admirable.  


Let's say there's a little old man who lives alone in a tiny apartment.  He pays all of his bills on time, he always keeps his space neat and clean.  he has no family.  He leaves his apartment every day to get his coffee and his paper, sits in the park or in a cafe on rainy days, reads the paper and then heads to the market to get the items he needs to make dinner.  He spends 2 hours cooking every night, sets the table, puts on his favorite music, enjoys every bite, cleans up, writes in his journal and gets to sleep.  On Tuesdays and Fridays he does his laundry at the laundromat and on Sundays, he goes to services at his church.  He gives $10 every week to the church fund and in every place and thing he does, he makes sure to make eye contact and smile at every person he encounters.  


He's someone who does what he does and is on time and pleasant and wanting to connect with others.  He gives of himself because he wants to, not because he's bound to get something from it.


As humans, we forget that this is real and true and beautiful.  We likely see this man as someone who is boring and lazy and introverted.  


We would rather talk about people who have done amazing things.  BIG scale things...


I have two perfect examples as to why this is completely and unfortunately despicable...


Audrey Hepburn.  


My pseudonym's namesake.  She was beautiful, charming, talented, strong, and generous with her time, giving to charity, working with children in Africa into her elder years, being a glorious mother.


Audrey Hepburn was hospitalized twice for trying to commit suicide.  She was married twice to horribly abusive men.  She was sick, anorexic and perfectionistic.  


I still admire the prior list.  The latter proves her to be a story.  A story we only share the good parts of.


Steve Jobs.

He gave us Apple.  He gave us amazing technology and devices that allow us to be more effective and connected and give us the time to truly live in the world.


Steve Jobs had a terrible relationship with his family.  He was despondent, dominating, and rarely around.  His work was his life.  They were just fluff.


I still admire the prior list.  The latter proves him to be a story.  A story we only share the good parts of.


Admiration is the most sought after income in the universe.
Everyone who takes less is always second best.  
In order to be admired, we must allow ourselves to be seen for who we are.  
We must present our inauthenticities and admit that they have driven us to our need to be admired.  


At the end of the day, false admiration won't make us happy.  Simple self-love and contentment will give us the true self that we need to carry on living a life we love with hope and happiness.


Food for thought...  


Your welcome.
XOXO, Audrey