It's been a while. I was busy. I was also confused. I'm neither right now.
I spent some time opening my mind further to new ideas and I am now ready to share them.
It doesn't matter how my day goes...or yours for that matter.
In actuality, it's just a day. It's just 24 hours, 1440 minutes.
It's just this happened, this didn't, he said, she said, blah blah blah.
My further idea says this:
So what?
Did you enjoy it?
Because, if the answer is no, you've failed at life.
OUCH, Aud! Did you get hurt or something? Did you get told your don't know it all.
Nah. I didn't. I already know I don't, but I do know something that I stand for, for the rest of my life. I've stood for it forever, but I've never had it defined. Now I have, and I'm proud of myself.
I live.
I don't get resigned to whatever it is that certain someones believe is "the way it goes" or that is "fine for now" or who "aren't getting any younger".
In my life I know I'll aspire professionally to all the possibilities I believe in. In love...I will too. I'm sure it will be unconventional the way it all goes down, but I will.
I tend to get stuck.
I tend to allow for it. All of it.
I tend to accept him for his shortcomings, while he derails me for my accomplishments.
I do.
It's terrible.
I know.
I'm not a masochist. I was just occurring like one. I'm actually a forthright, bra burning, simple person-hating, femi-nazi bitch.
Yep, I am.
I'm also a delicate, quiet, gentle, and passionate person.
Yep, I am.
I'm also a woman who doesn't need anyone to help her, but would love for an offer.
Yep, I am.
I'm also a girl who still likes printed tights and thick wool sweaters that drown my femininity and my "grown-up-ness"
Yep, I am.
I'm also a woman who will use my legs to drop jaws and shut simple people up so I will be heard. and I will WIN.
Yep, I am.
I'm RECENTLY a woman who loves herself. Who knows exactly what she wants and gets it. A woman who rolls out profanities ablaze when she doesn't get what she's asking for.
SERIOUSLY? Yep, you bet I am.
Because I've given.
I've always been the shoulder to cry on, or the friend to "have your back" or the one you can bounce your ideas off of.
That's a sound board.
I'm a human being.
I'm worth so much more than being some one's bobble head while they rant and rave about the travesty of their "Do not resuscitate" life.
Forget it.
They'll have to juice me to get me to leave.
I am taking a stand to ignore ignorance.
To ignore negative thoughts, feelings, expressions, and energy.
I am taking a stand to NOT foster the negativity.
So here's my advise if you'd like a friend like me:
1. You don't like your job? quit.
* If this isn't possible, you've created your hardship by not budgeting to have a cushion to get the
hell out. YOU DID THIS
2. You're not in love with your significant other any more. get out
* Marriage is a choice. Choose wisely. You'll be fine if you're alone. In fact, if he really does
drive you this crazy, you'll be better. If you just want to bitch and nothing is wrong SHUT UP.
3. 30 is not old.
* if you truly believe it is, you need to cheat on your spouse, do some LSD, and frigging live your life. Not that these things are necessary for living, but 30?!?!. I still get pimples. Old people do not get pimples. I also have 5 years until I reach my sexual peak. The only people who are old at 30 are men. they're 11 years past their peak and likely screwing a chick who's got at least 14 years to go. (they're so on the same level. I mean, it's scary how much they have in common).
4. Crying. Talking, Expression. Freaking out. and BREAKING DOWN. are a really real part of living.
* if you're not invested in your life enough to be hurt when things don't go your way, you might as well die and get dirt thrown in your face.
Seriously. We get this shot. Why not live every day like you could burst at the seems with presence and excitement and a drive towards your dreams?
Cynicism. It'll be my plea for not guilty when everyone drops like flies and I'm still chillin, being happy.
Get over yourself, your story, your baggage. Get over what keeps you where you are. and...
GO
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